What I have long suspected, can now be confidently confirmed: Santa Claus is a cowboy.
If you think about it, only a cowboy would have the skill to control the reins of a nine-reindeer hitch and maneuver around the circumference of the globe in a single night. In addition, only a cowboy would have the guts (or lack of brainpower) to even attempt such a feat.
If you still doubt my assertion, consider this: neither cowboys, nor Santa, are ever seen without being dressed in both boots and a hat. I’d even be willing to wager, that if we could ever get a close-up shot of Santa’s belt buckle, we’d find out that he’d placed in a tie-down, elf roping contest, in his younger days…or participated in a celebrity team roping event, later in his life.
Only Santa Claus, or a cowboy, would be willing to work all night long for nothing more than something to eat and drink. We know old Kringle prefers milk and cookies, and I can attest that cowboys can also be bribed with those — if there’s nothing a bit stronger available.
Everyone knows Mr. Claus loves children and, in turn, they adore him. By the same token, I have never seen a real cowboy who didn’t have the time to joke and tease with a child who wanted to grow up and be just like him. There’s something about the jolly old man, and the larger-than-life cowboy, that children of all ages, just seem to gravitate toward.
We all know Santa Claus has names for all of his reindeer: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph are known by almost everyone in the world. It could also be said that almost everyone knows Trigger, Silver, Scout, Fury, Buttermilk, Champion and, of course, Mr. Ed. There are just too many similarities between the two icons, to be overlooked.
Of course, some would argue the similarity between St. Nick and a cowboy is they only work one day each year. But, we all know that’s not true, because Santa has to work year-round to get all those toys ready to deliver, just as a cowboy works long days and nights, all year long, just to take those calves to town once or twice a year.
In conclusion, I’ll argue the famous Santa Claus phrase of, “Ho, ho, ho,” is only the shortened version of a cowboy’s, “HOwdy, HOwdy, HOwdy!”
So, whether you live in North Pole, Alaska; Santa Claus, Ind.; Noel, Mo.; or Cut and Shoot, Texas, everyone in this cowboy outfit hopes you had a very Merry Christmas.
Jerry Crownover is a farmer and former professor of Agriculture Education at Missouri State University. He is a native of Baxter County, Arkansas, and an author and professional speaker. To contact Jerry, go to ozarksfn.com and click on ‘Contact Us.’