Have you ever looked at a deal as too good to be true, and wondered why it was selling? I’ve been in a few of those wrecks and should have been more suspicious. You know in Washington D.C. that guy selling Rolex watches out of a brief case for $20 ain’t on the up and up. But I knew that, and had lots of fun with a few of them. Got my dad one and a Walmart clerk refused to even touch it when the battery went down; he thought it was real.
I met a man from Georgia at Branson, Mo., at the RV park, who wore a big diamond Shriner’s ring. I was camped up there fishing in Taneycomo. I invited him to go with me in my boat and we caught a nice mess of trout. I asked if he wanted them to eat and he said, “Oh yes.”
So I went into gutting them and he let out a scream, “You aren’t going to get that — watch — in the water are you?”
I looked down at my “Rolex” and said, “As much as that cost it better not stop running.” Then I went on cleaning fish.
He looked pasty faced and nodded. “I know that’s right.”
Back on my story, I found a late model yellow 4X4 pickup on a car lot. Had less then 10,000 miles on it. Why did anyone trade in such a new truck? Honest John at the lot said, “Oh, he needed a car.”
After I bought it I needed a car. One to drive while the truck was in the shop. The carburetor was not flush on the head — don’t ask me. I spent lots of money on it in repair shops. And my wife was crabby as all get out since it was to be her car. It would never run, or it stopped in traffic and would not start. Needless to say I finally swapped it off and the dealer complained about that truck for two years. He kept getting it back. It sure was a nice looking truck.
My wife said, “Yes, a yellow lemon.”
Years ago, My pard' and I were in the old sale barn in Huntsville and they ran the best looking flat-backed, half-roan, white-faced heifer in there. She was springing. Now that cross of cattle raised the biggest calves you ever saw. A horned Hereford cross and in those days, the horned cattle in the breed were the best boned. I bought her for $125. We could not believe our good fortune — she was at least $25-50 under the market and an ideal bred cow for me. Had her whole life ahead of her.
She wasn’t wild. A sweet beef cow and showing close to calving, we loaded her in our old Dodge flat bed truck and headed for Winslow after the sale was over. I was wishing we had a hundred just like her.
Before that purchase we had bought a pto auger and built some new corrals as well as a loading chute. Previously we had crowded them in the barn with a wooden panel and made them step up on hay bales to load and unload. No more. We had a six foot high board corral.
We pulled into the ranch yard and backed up to our fresh new chute, set the brake and my pard' Monty took out the tailgate. She walked off the truck calm as a kitten. Oh, she was slick, licking hair on her side with her tongue. She got to the bend in the chute and instead of turning, she flat footed  jumped that six foot corral fence.
Our hearts sunk — we knew then why we bought her so cheap.
Watch out for those deals. Also, be watching for my latest western novel  “The Sundown Chaser” on sale April 9.
Western novelist Dusty Richards and his wife Pat live on Beaver Lake in northwest Arkansas. For more information about his books you can email Dusty by visiting www.ozarksfn.com and clicking on 'Contact Us' or call 1-866-532-1960.


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