Some not-so-smart ideas

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I’ve done some really dumb things in my lifetime, but luckily, I keep bearing witness to people who continue to make me feel good about myself.

When I was in college and spending my first semester living off-campus, there came a night when the city was hit by a minor ice storm. With every car covered in a thin sheet of ice, one of my neighbors became overly frustrated with his inability to chip the ice with a cheap, little ice scraper, so he proceeded to go back to his apartment and heat a pan of boiling water. Unfortunately, the young man had not taken his first physics course, but he did get a quick review in basic economics. The new windshield cost about $150.

Several years ago, my wife borrowed my truck to go to one of the big box stores and purchase her first big-screen TV. She couldn’t understand why the guys at the store were laughing as they tied rope around the television to prevent it from tipping over as she brought it home. Upon arrival at home, when she attempted to open the door of the truck, she realized they had run the rope through the cab of the truck, before tying it. She called a neighbor to get her out.

I’ll also admit to a little lapse in my own judgment as I drove the truck through an open gate one day. It wasn’t until I closed the gate and fastened the lock that I realized I was on the opposite side of my truck. I quickly looked around to make sure no one saw. The bad thing is: I’ve done that more than once.

Early one morning a few years ago, a friend of mine discovered one of his cows in distress, lying in the middle of an open field. The animal was having calving problems and needed some assistance. My friend, in an effort to get more leverage, tied one end of the rope to the front feet of the yet unborn calf, and the other end around his own torso. Surprisingly, the cow could get up — and did. The ordeal cost him a broken arm and three cracked ribs.

Of course, we’ve all seen the video of the guy who is dressed from head to toe in protective gear — steel-toed boots, full face shield, shin guards, ear protection and knee pads, all in order to use a chainsaw to cut the limb…that is supporting the ladder on which he is standing.

Last week, on his way home from work, my wife’s friend observed something almost as absurd. As he was driving on a four-lane street in the city, a motorcyclist sped past him at such a speed he could barely make out that the biker was wearing a COVID mask — but no helmet.

Jerry Crownover farms in Lawrence County. He is a former professor of Agriculture Education at Missouri State University, and is an author and professional speaker. To contact Jerry, go to ozarksfn.com and click on ‘Contact Us.’

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