This column, quite likely, could be one of the last I write. You see, when someone comes into a great deal of money very quickly, one of their first acts is to quit their ‘paying’ job to pursue activities they’ve wanted to do their entire lifetime. But, please, don’t worry about me, for I’m pretty sure that I won’t fall into the trap that has ruined so many other ‘instant millionaires.’
You see, I’m already doing exactly what I had always dreamed of doing, and that is – farming. Oh sure, I’ll probably purchase some more land, especially since the price of farmland around me has declined quite a bit with the economy. And, I will most certainly purchase more cows and of much higher quality. I’ll be able to get rid of those last few ‘crazy’ ones that attempt to maim or kill me each time I work them. My next few years before retirement should really be fun!
Yes, I’ll even upgrade my equipment with the latest fancy tractor model –maybe even a couple of them – with all the bells and whistles available. Heck, I’ll even get a few more horsepower than I really need, just so I’ll always have that ‘extra’ power if I get in a bind. It also looks like I will even be able to hire someone to do the entire fence rebuilding, instead of having to do it myself. I plan on having all the corners custom-made with steel pipe instead of dealing with those massive old hedge posts that we’re going to replace. I’ll even be able to pay someone to keep them painted! They’ll all be six-wire fences, too, stretched tighter than a fiddle string. It’s going to be great.
A few of the neighbors, that I’ve already told about my good fortune, have been kidding me about building a big house and trading for a top-of-the-line truck, but that would just be flaunting it, and I wouldn’t want my friends to think my new-found riches were going to my head. No, the house we live in is plenty nice to do me the rest of my life. As for the truck, I guess a new one is in order, but it won’t be anything outrageous since the cows would bend it up pretty good within the first month of feeding, anyway.
I suppose I’ll have to take the wife on a nice vacation, considering neither one of us has had one in several years, but I can guarantee you it won’t be out of the country and probably will not last more than about ten days, since I can’t wait to get back and start spending the wealth on improving and expanding the farm.
Yes, things should be easier, not having to constantly worry about money and being able to make it until the next bunch of calves are sold. It will also be nice to help the kids out more and hopefully make their lives a little better as well. Maybe, when my time on this earth is done, I’ll even be able to leave them a nice little nest egg.
No, I didn’t win the multi-state lottery, nor did I have a rich relative pass away and leave me his fortune. All I did was pick-up a Sunday newspaper today, and find an article stating that some pharmaceutical company is going to start paying ‘big bucks’ for farmers in this area to start planting, raising and harvesting ragweed to use in allergy medicines. The pollen collected from these ‘ragweed farms’ is going to be more valuable, per pound, than gold. They say it’ll take a couple of years to establish the stand and start the harvest, but it will be a cash cow when they do.
Since I already own one of the largest and most concentrated farms of ragweed in the entire United States, I won’t have to wait to get a good stand in the ground and should be ready for my first, bumper-crop harvest next fall.  I’M GONNA BE RICH!
Jerry Crownover is a farmer and former professor of Agriculture Education at Missouri State University. He is a native of Baxter County, Arkansas, and an author and professional speaker. To contact Jerry call 1-866-532-1960 or visit and click on ‘Contact Us.’


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