In my younger days, when I was setting goals for what I wanted to do and accomplish in life, I never identified landlord as one of my ambitions. Unfortunately, some of the farms I have acquired through the years happen to have decent homes on them, so I started renting them in order to generate a little more cash flow while, at the same time, keeping them from becoming in disrepair.
I realize that I’ve been very fortunate in finding good, hard-working people to reside in these homes and most of them usually stay for several years. But, last month, one of the renters decided to move on and it left me with a small, clean, little house to rent, once more. I advertised it in all the usual places and received many calls and emails concerning my requirements. I emphasized to all that were interested, that my needs were few, but very strict; pay the rent on time, keep the lawn mowed neatly, absolutely no inside pets and any outside pets would not be allowed if they chase my cows.
One morning, last week, I received a call from a very nice lady. She informed me that she and her husband, along with a 1-year-old baby, were relocating to this area from California. The woman had seen my ad, thought it was just what they were looking for, and the price range was right. “Would it be possible to come and look through the house today?”
Even though I am still feeding hay and calving out cows I have already begun spreading fertilizer on the pastures and hay fields, so my time is at a premium right now. But, I wanted to get that house rented as soon as possible, too, so I told her I would find a few minutes right after noon, if she wanted to meet me there. She said 1:00 would work for her and if I could just give her the address, she could find it with her GPS.
“Do you have a road map?” I asked.
“No,” she answered, “my GPS is the best, and it can find anything.”
I gave her the physical address of the house, but warned her that here in this part of the country, even the best GPS devices sometimes have trouble locating things. I then proceeded to give her perfect instructions on where to turn north, east, west and south. “Whatever you do,” I instructed, “don’t let your GPS take you to Everton. That’s the long way around from where you’re coming. You HAVE to come through Halltown.” She assured me that she could find it and she would see me at 1:00.
At 1:30, figuring that she was either a no-show or lost, I called her phone. “Where are you?” I asked.
Sheepishly, she answered, “In Everton.”
“OK,” I replied while trying my best to not come across as completely annoyed. “I’ll tell you how to get here from that town.” I proceeded, once again, to give her the best south, west, east and north directions. “It shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes to get here.”
Thirty minutes later, I called her once more. “I’m sorry,” she begged, “but I’m in Halltown, now.”
By this time, I was sure my unhappiness was evident. “Go north on Z highway,” I instructed.
After too long of a pause, she asked, “Which way is north?” Now, I knew the problem.
I have now added one more line in my list of requirements for renting the house. “Prospective renters must know north, south, east and west.” That may seem harsh, but it sounds better than “No one from California allowed.”
