Both of my sons are finished with their collegiate careers – FINALLY! The holidays were a particularly joyous occasion since it was the first time, in three years, we had them both home at the same time and I used it as an opportunity to bring them up to date on what was new around the farm.
They seemed a little surprised to learn that I had sold one farm while they were away, got rid of the last of the old purebred cows they had each shown as boys, and made a couple of new purchases that I was hoping would make farming a little easier on an old man in his waning years. They seemed impressed when I drove my new tractor up the driveway and parked in front of the house for them to take a look.
Even though I traded for this new one over a year ago, neither had seen it, and they wanted the grand tour. They both oohed and aahed over the fact that this new one was a four-wheel drive.
“I can’t believe you spent the extra money to get that option,” Zach noted.
“Well,” I answered, “I don’t have sons around anymore to come pull me out of a snowdrift or muddy field.” They both nodded their heads in amused agreement.
“And this buddy seat beside the driver’s,” Seth added jealously, “would have been handy for us to sit in when we were kids instead of sitting on the armrest or in the floorboard of the old tractor.”
I had to smile as I reminisced that each of them had ridden hundreds of miles with me, round and round hay fields, strapped into an old car seat that had lain in the floorboard of the old tractor, while their mother worked her job in town. I supposed this model did seem like a real step up for them.
As they continued to look over all the levers, buttons, electronic displays and monitors, one of the boys looked behind the upholstered, air-ride seat and exclaimed, “What is this? Another extravagant option?”
Seeing what Zach had pulled out from behind the seat for an explanation, I replied, “I realize that the five college degrees between the two of you are all in Philosophy, but surely you recognize a roll of toilet paper when you see it!”
“We know what it is,” Seth declared, “but what are you doing carrying it around in your new tractor?”
“Believe it or not, I sometimes have emergencies when I’m at one of the other farms, cutting or baling hay,” I answered.
“Outside?” Zach asked incredulously.
“Sure,” I answered, “have neither of you ever been caught in that predicament?”
“Never,” they both assured me, “We are, after all, civilized.”
When I replied sarcastically that I, at least, didn’t carry around a paper sack full of corn cobs, neither of my sons even cracked a smile. They didn’t have a clue as to what I was talking about.
Somehow, someway, I have failed in the raising of my sons.
Jerry Crownover farms in Lawrence County. He is a former professor of Agriculture Education at Missouri State University, and is an author and professional speaker. To contact Jerry, go to ozarksfn.com and click on ‘Contact Us.’
