I admire large animal veterinarians. Not only do they risk their lives almost every time they enter a pen or pasture, they also have to deal with a patient who can’t tell them what’s wrong, and an owner who may not know which end is which.
Dr. Joe was a veterinarian in a community where I used to teach agriculture. His practice was almost entirely large animals, and he loved working with cattle, hogs, sheep and horses. Unfortunately, he passed away many years ago, but I was recently reminded of one of his favorite stories in dealing with large animals and less-than-smart owners.
A man, new to the business of beef production, had requested the bovine doctor to come out to his “ranch’” and inspect a peculiar protrusion on the south end of his cow. Before the vet got within 50 feet of the cow, he diagnosed the problem as a vaginal prolapse and asked the owner when the cow was supposed to calve. After quickly checking his breeding records, which was nothing more than a 3-by-5 index card he carried in his wallet, he replied, “In about two to three weeks.”
The owner, luckily, did have a squeeze chute to restrain the cow, allowing the good doctor to clean the protrusion before pushing it back in. The interested owner watched carefully as Dr. Joe began to insert sutures to the lower part of the normal opening. Once finished, the vet gave detailed directions to the rookie cowman to keep the cow up in the corral until her calf arrived, AND cut the stitches when she went into labor in order for there to be enough room for the calf to come out. The veterinarian even had the owner repeat the instructions, so there would be no excuse for poor communication.
About a week later, Dr. Joe was driving by the previously described farm on his way home from another call in the same general vicinity. Being the responsible physician he was, he thought he would stop and check on the pregnant cow as a courtesy. The owner was at his day job, so Dr. Joe examined the cow and noticed a huge number of flies all around the sewn up opening. Retrieving a spray bottle of “the purple stuff” from his truck, he quickly took care of that problem.
For those of you unfamiliar with “the purple stuff,” it has been around for years, as one of the best medicines to help fresh navels, cut legs, open wounds and a variety of afflictions, to aid in the healing process, while keeping those nasty flies away. If you ever use it, you will get some on your skin, and it will not wash off. You just have to wear it away. I had a bottle in my tool box 10 years ago, and the top broke off. Most of my wrenches and tools are still purple.
A couple of weeks after that, the vet ran into the newbie at the local feed store and asked if the cow had given birth yet. The rookie cowboy stated, “She was doing fine for the first few days, but I came home after work one day and her entire rear end had turned purple, so I figured the only humane thing to do was put her down.”
Jerry Crownover farms in Lawrence County. He is a former professor of Agriculture Education at Missouri State University, and is an author and professional speaker. To contact Jerry, go to ozarksfn.com and click on ‘Contact Us.’
