Since the Internet now makes it possible to access news stories from around the world.
I have, for the past few years, used a major newspaper website in England to read about the political races here in the United States. For me, this source seems to be a bit more concise and less biased than many of the major media sources in this country, so I log onto it quite frequently. Last week, after reading their latest take on the U.S. presidential race, I scrolled down a ways before a picture of a red cow caught my attention. The headline read, “Cow Pregnant by Immaculate Conception?”
Naturally, I had to read the article.
A lady farmer, somewhere in the English countryside, had alerted the newspaper that a mysterious bovine pregnancy had occurred on her small farm. It was mysterious because she claimed there hadn’t been a bull on her acreage for more than two years and, since a cow’s pregnancy only lasts about nine months, she could only conclude that something eerie had happened. A reporter hurried to the farm to investigate.
The farm owner’s diagnosis of the cow’s pregnancy was only based on visual observation at that time – big belly and swollen udder, so the astute reporter quickly summoned the local veterinarian to scientifically confirm the farmer’s suspicion.
“Yes,” the veterinarian determined. “The red cow is pregnant and should give birth within a few days.” But, pregnant by who…or what?
The article even showed pictures of the small cow, along with pictures of other animals on the farm. A picture of a huge draft horse, which happened to still be a stallion, begged the inference that, maybe…possibly…miraculously, the cow could have been bred by the horse.
Deep investigative journalism could find no known instances of cows crossing with horses. The next logical step for the reporter was to ask if there had been any sightings of alien spaceships in the area.
“Well,” the farmer answered, “I don’t know if it could have been an alien spacecraft that caused it, but I did find the red cow standing beside a huge area of downed fence a few months ago.”
Upon pondering the event further, she added, “The cow was still in the paddock, but I guess it is possible a UFO landed on the fence and an alien somehow impregnated the cow.” The paper promised an update when the calf is born.
The last paragraph of the article informed us that the lady farmer kept her animals, “more as pets than farm animals,” but was still unable to understand how her cow could be pregnant.
Who knows? Maybe the calf will come out green, with huge, bulging eyes and two heads, maybe the English countryside is different, but I’ll wager that it will look a lot more like the neighbor’s bull down the road. But…that’s just me.
