It’s official – I have retired.
In anticipation of my magical birthday, I went online to the Social Securtity Administration a couple of months ago and entered all the pertinent information they required. A few weeks after providing the data to the website, I received a telephone call from a very nice lady with the administration to verify that all the information I had provided was both accurate and authentic.
In an effort, I’m sure, to personalize our conversation, the lady began with, “What do you currently do for a living, Mr. Crownover?”
“I’m a farmer,” I proudly replied.
“Well, that’s just marvelous, Mr. Crownover. My grandfather was a farmer and he was just a wonderful person and… I’ve just never met or talked to a farmer that wasn’t just the nicest person in the world.”
Feeling that the civil servant was being just a bit too gratuitous, I answered, “Well, I hope I can keep your streak going.”
“I’m sure you will,” she answered before beginning to provide details and specifics related to my situation. In great detail, she recited the government line regarding how much my retirement benefits would be, since I was electing to begin at the earliest age allowed. She also informed me that early retirement could also result in some repayment penalties if I made more than a specified amount of yearly income. “Do you think you will make more than that this year, Mr Crownover?”
“You weren’t very close to your grandfather, were you, ma’am?”
“Pardon me?” she replied.
“You said that your grandfather was a farmer, so I assumed you knew how little net income most of us earn.”
“Ohhhh,” she sighed, as she realized her blunder. “No, no, I was just trying to make you aware of the limits to your benefits.”
I thanked her and assured her that I had received the book that they provide and had studied my options. “I’m pretty sure I’ll be safe on the income limit,” I added.
We talked a few more minutes before she began her conclusion. “May I ask what you intend to do, now that you will be retired, Mr. Crownover?”’
I didn’t have to pause more than a second before answering, “Whatever I’m doing the day before I turn 62 will be the same thing I’ll be doing the day after my birthday.”
“But, don’t you want to relax and enjoy a different lifestyle upon retirement?”
“No, ma’am, this lifestyle is all I ever wanted to do and I can’t see that changing anytime soon.”
“Then there really won’t be any change in your life at all, will there?”
“Are you kidding?” I responded, “It’s going to be the biggest change in my life!”
“How so?”
“Because, now, I’ll be getting a paycheck every month instead of once per year.”
